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WARNING: These innocent-looking brownies may contain zucchini. Eat at your own risk...or <a href='http://southdakotamagazine.com/our-zucchini-cook-off'>click here</a> for the recipe.
WARNING: These innocent-looking brownies may contain zucchini. Eat at your own risk...or click here for the recipe.

Warning: May Contain Zucchini

Aug 12, 2013




Each year the state of South Dakota produces approximately 470 pounds of zucchini for every man, woman and child. This unwelcome bounty is a big problem. Lovers of this foul fruit of the vine, which I most assuredly am not, can only eat so much of it fried, baked or fricasseed. This causes them to seek out ways to use it in other recipes. Muffins. Bread. Chocolate cake.

Zucchini aficionados are often good people, but they get some kind of sick pleasure from using that ghastly white sludge in recipes, then bragging that you can’t even taste it. Each fall people like me live in mortal fear that we will be offered an innocent-looking baked good and accidentally ingest some.

We need a law that would make it a felony to use zucchini in baked goods and not inform potential eaters of the same. It would also be illegal for anyone to encourage consumption of a zucchini-tainted concoction by saying, “Try some! You’ll never even taste it!” or the equivalent.

My personal preference would be to subject offenders to some kind of medieval torture for each offense, but I realize that justice must be tempered with mercy. A week in jail for each loaf of zucchini bread or zucchini chocolate cake produced sounds about right. 

 

Comments

07:35 am - Mon, August 12 2013
Heidi said:
Did I miss National Sneak Some Zucchini On Your Neighbors Porch Day?
07:39 am - Mon, August 12 2013
Laura said:
My father would wholeheartedly agree with you, Roger.

I would prefer to make the warning more of a celebration, myself. "Brownies! Now with more zucchini!" or "YES!! CONTAINS ZUCCHINI!!!!!" or something similar.
11:16 am - Fri, August 16 2013
Sweeps said:
How can you possibly NOT love zucchini when it comes wrapped in those delicious brownies! Or when added to sauteed onions, tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese! Yum oh!!
06:33 pm - Sun, August 18 2013
*Just Fran* said:
I dare you to tell the difference between apple butter and my zucchini butter. ;-)
01:51 pm - Wed, August 21 2013
Roger said:
Oh, great! Now I have to avoid apple butter, too, just in case. : (

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